


cause i know life (and it doesn't work like that)

by meathermac



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Fantasy High
Genre: Aelwen Abernant Could Be A Good Big Sister If You Gave Her The Time, And The Therapy, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Post-Canon, Senior year, Swearing, mentioned i guess, nobody actually fucks within the context of the fic it's just kind of like, nothing too explicit i do still think this is teen, since this takes place after canon aelwen is a good person in this!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meathermac/pseuds/meathermac
Summary: in which riz and fabian test out the question, "how many times can you make out with your best friend before it's gay?", aelwen ruins riz's life, and the abernant sisters become therapists on accident.-or, another fake dating au, but featuring more sprinkles.
Relationships: Mentioned/Background Figueroth Faeth/Ayda Aguefort, Mentioned/Background Kristen Applebees/Tracker, Past Aelwen Abernant/Fabian Aramais Seacaster, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 20
Kudos: 351





	cause i know life (and it doesn't work like that)

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes my summaries make sense and sometimes they don't what can i say
> 
> anyways, there's nothing graphic but there is quite a few mentions of sex/sleeping together, keep yourselves safe my friends
> 
> hope you like it!!!!!

Riz is still trying to pick up sprinkles from the kitchen floor when he hears the door slam open, and his mom exclaims, “Oh, Fabian! We were just making cookies!” 

Of course it’s Fabian. Of course his best friend-slash-crush-since-freshman-year shows up as he’s cleaning fucking sprinkles off the floor. 

Riz has, despite his many attempts against it, been desperately in love with Fabian since about a week into freshman year when he rode on the back of his motorcycle. It’s almost their senior year now, but Riz hasn’t been able to shake this crush--even though he’s been Fabian’s best friend for as long as he can remember and as such has heard Fabian rant about all the girls he dates and makes out with. They tell each other everything. It’s a curse, it really is. 

Fabian knows that Riz is gay; it was hard to hide something like that from the guy whose house you have your own room at. 

(Note: he has his own room at Seacaster Manor, but he has never once slept in it. Riz sleeps on Fabian's floor or, on several memorable occasions, in his bed.) 

He knows that Riz is gay, but Riz would rather eat evidence than tell Fabian he's in love with him. Which makes it all the more fun when the first thing Fabian says to him--already kneeling down to help Riz pick up the sprinkles, ever the gentleman--is "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend." 

He drops the dustpan he's been shoveling sprinkles into. "Wh--what the fuck, Fabian--," Riz sputters, blushing furiously, "At least ask me out for dinner first!" 

Fabian rolls his eyes. "Ha, ha. Aelwen invited me to a party next weekend and I need to show up with a date so she doesn't make fun of me." 

"Don't we like Aelwen now?" he asks, seriously doubting Fabian's memory. "After the whole saving-her-from-the-tower thing?" 

He waves his hand through the air dismissively. "Yes, yes, she's fantastic, but she's still my ex--" 

"You went on one date and she told you she didn't like you like that," Riz responds crossly, still trying to scoop the sprinkles back into his dustpan. 

"Shut up, the Ball, do you want to help me get her back or not?" 

Not. Not even a tiny little bit do I want to help you get Aelwen back, he thinks, but he's Fabian's best friend and so he says, "Of course I do, but I don't think she's interested, man. Besides, why would showing up with a guy on your arm get her more into you?" 

Fabian shrugs. "It shows that I'm flexible in my relationships." 

"Fabian, it shows that you're gay."

He huffs and leans back against the counter. "I'm not gay." 

"Oh trust me, I know," Riz mumbles, and then raises his voice to say "Why not ask Fig, or Adaine, or hell, even Kristen to pretend?" 

Fabian ticks the reasons off on his fingers as he goes. "Fig and Kristen are both taken--by women, I may add--and Fig's playing the party, anyways, and I already asked Adaine." 

He lifts an eyebrow skeptically. "And what did she say?" 

"She's aromantic and asexual, Riz, and her sister would see right through it. And then she said to ask you." He smiles at Riz, dimples and all. "So here I am." 

Oh, Adaine Abernant, how I long to shoot you in the face. 

Riz grits his teeth and grins back. "So I guess we've got ourselves a date." 

Fabian doesn't leave for another few hours, but the topic of Aelwen's party is dutifully ignored for the rest of the afternoon. The second he leaves, however, Riz pulls up Fantasy Skype and furiously hits the Call button next to Adaine's contact. 

"Hello Riz, how's it go--" 

"You meddling piece of crap!" 

Her pixelated face betrays no emotion whatsoever. "Interesting way to greet your friends." 

He sighs dramatically and flips Adaine off. "I can't believe you actually told him to pretend to date me." 

"Oh, is that what this is about?" She laughs. "I really am sorry about that, and Aelwen sends her apologies as well." 

"Fabian is the most oblivious person I have ever met, and Kristen's perception is always a solid natural one--Aelwen's clearly not interested, but why would he be able to work that one out, no, he's got to go and fake-ask out the one person who's been in love with him for years--" 

"I didn't think he'd go through with it!" Adaine protests. "But now that he has…" 

"Don't," Riz says vehemently. 

"You should use it to ask him out for real!" 

He stares at her like she's gone absolutely insane. "No. No way." 

"Well, if you're honestly so against it, then don't do it," Adaine says, her voice tinged with disbelief, "but you don't know if he'll want to date you if he doesn't know that you're an option." 

Riz shakes his head. "I practically swoon every time the guy smiles at me. I think at this point, he might just be straight." 

"You and Fabian almost had sex once," she points out rather crudely. "Unless I'm misremembering that four AM phone call?" 

"Adaine!" Riz hisses, mortified. "I was--he was--we were so drunk, and it doesn't mean anything--" 

"I have the voicemail." Adaine stares back at him, lips curling into a mischievous smile. "Do you want me to replay the exact words you said?" 

He slides down further into the couch. "Don't you dare--" 

"Cause I think it went something like this," she interrupts before putting on a high-pitched voice and saying, "Adaine, seriously, pick up the phone, I was this close to fucking Fabian Aramais Seacaster--"

"I did not say his full name," he corrects impulsively. 

"You absolutely did. And even after you were done having a panic attack over nearly sleeping with Fabian, you continued to have a separate panic attack over what it meant and didn’t listen to Kristen and I, who were both trying to tell you that people generally don’t almost sleep with people they’re not at least somewhat attracted to.” Adaine grins, chewing on the back of her pencil. “So…” 

Riz narrows his eyes at Adaine, who is giving off a vibe of ‘I know more than you and it’s fantastic’, and says, “He’s not interested in me, Adaine. Lay off it.” 

“I wholeheartedly believe otherwise, but to each their own.” She shrugs. “Are you going as his date?” 

“You think I was gonna say no?” Riz asks incredulously. “If my crush asks me out to a party, I’m gonna say yes, regardless of whether or not it’s fake.”

Adaine rolls her eyes and waves goodbye before clicking off the call. He mumbles something about annoying friends before turning on the TV and falling asleep not thirty minutes later--he hasn’t slept in four days, his sleep schedule is wack. 

Three days later, Fabian suggests they practice dating. 

“The fuck do you mean, practice?” Riz glares at Fabian, who’s returning the look with an oblivious smile. 

“I mean,” he says, pulling Riz closer, “no one would believe that we were dating if we didn’t act like we were dating.” 

He blushes as he leans into his best friend, muttering “No one’s going to believe we’re dating anyway because everyone--and I mean everyone, Fabs--knows you’re like, the straightest guy ever.” 

“I am not,” he responds, and Riz snorts. “I am not! I have expressed interest in people that aren’t women before.” 

“Garthy O’Brien does not count.” 

Fabian sputters, “Why not?!”

“Even the straightest guy in the guy in the world would fuck them if they had the chance,” Riz says smugly, and Fabian bursts into laughter. 

“Alright, alright,” he concedes. Fabian slings an arm around Riz and gives him a quick peck on the cheek. “You comfortable with that?”

He blushes deeply and nods, every part of his body that Fabian was touching on fire, and Riz can’t tell up from down, it’s everything he’s wanted for years--

“It’s perfect,” he hears Fabian say faintly, “We really look like we’re in love.”

Hm, wonder why that is? Riz thinks as he closes his eyes and rests his head on Fabian’s shoulder. 

They ‘practice’ almost twice daily, and it’s slowly going from cheek kisses and arms on shoulders to making out, Fabian’s hands running up Riz’s thighs and locking the door to Fabian’s room, Riz sneaking out at midnight wishing he hadn’t ever met this stupid fucking pirate and asking someone--maybe whatever Kristen’s god was currently, they tended to be pretty gay-friendly--why on Earth he’d gotten stuck with a massive crush on a straight guy. 

He doesn’t go home one night but instead walks to the Abernant sisters’ shared apartment--after Aelwen got some therapy and a stable job, she was more than happy to become Adaine’s legal guardian--and scales the wall to knock on the window to their living room. 

Aelwen starts as she notices Riz at the window, but she recovers quickly and rolls her eyes. She snaps her fingers, the window opens, and he clambers in. “You know we’ve got a front door, correct?” she asks, pursing her lips. 

Riz shrugs, shutting the window behind him. “Sure I do. It’s more fun to climb in.” 

“You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days, Gukgak,” Aelwen mutters, shaking her head. “Adaine! Riz is breaking in again!” 

“We have a front door!” Adaine calls as she walks into the room. “Use it!” 

He laughs and collapses on their couch. “It’s no fun!” 

“I don’t give a shit,” she says, shoving him over so she can sit down next to him. “What’s the matter?” 

Riz groans and runs his hands over his face. “How many times can a guy make out with another guy and still call himself straight? For real, I’ve… done stuff with a lot of guys, and Fabian knows what the fuck he’s doing in that area, but still. It’s all for Aelwen.” 

Aelwen shoots him an apologetic smile as she perches herself on the table. “Sorry, Gukgak.” 

“It’s not your fault,” he grouses. “He can’t take a goddamn hint to save his life.” 

Adaine pats his shoulder sympathetically. “If it helps, he’s definitely not straight,” she says, “and I think he’s definitely into you.” 

“Yeah, well, what the fuck do you know,” Riz mutters, turning over and burying his face in the couch. He doesn’t even have to listen to know Aelwen and her are both responding 'literally everything'. 

"Honey, we kissed one time and I was high off my arse." Aelwen grimaces. "Personally, I think either one of those might take the cake for the worst decision of the night--" 

Adaine scoffs. "You tried to murder me--"

"Details, dear sister of mine," she says, waving her off. "Anyways, how close is this getting to sex exactly?" 

"Aelwen--" Adaine begins, aghast, but Aelwen just laughs her off and keeps talking. 

"I mean, I remember the last time you were having this bad of a crisis, you were both shirtless in his bed, so I think that we need to know the full details if we're going to determine what level of Riz crisis this is," she continues, and Riz bolts upright and turns several shades of red darker than he thought possible. 

He rubs the back of his neck and says sheepishly, "I mean, nothing like that. Just some… stuff. Not friend stuff." 

She arches an eyebrow. "Yeah, no shit, Gukgak." 

"Aelwen, don't be rude," Adaine chastises. "Riz, you don't have to tell us anything you don't want to."

"There's nothing to tell. We make out for practice, I'm in love with him, this is all far too normal for my tastes, what else is there to say?” He slumps back into the couch and leans his head back, staring at the ceiling. “He’s such a prick.” 

Riz watches Adaine sigh out of the corner of his eye, and she shifts so she’s leaning against the arm of the couch and facing him. “He is a prick,” she begins slowly, and he can already tell Adaine’s choosing her words carefully, “but you are… just sort of letting it happen.” 

“What else do I do, o Wise One?” Riz asks sarcastically, though he backs off almost instantly at Adaine’s disapproving look. “Sorry, it’s just--fuck, it’s not like I can just tell him I’m in love with him!” 

Aelwen clears her throat. “Forgive me for interrupting--”

“Absolutely not,” Adaine mumbles. 

She shoots her a dirty look. “Forgive me, but I don’t see why you can’t do just that. Fabian doesn’t even know you’re an option.”

“Aelwen, you sound exactly like someone else I know,” she replies, pretending to be lost in thought. “Gosh, I wonder who could have told you the exact same goddamn thing just a few days ago.”

Aelwen cracks up and jumps down from her seat on the counter, and as she walks over to the couch and sitting down on the floor across from them saying in a rather dramatic voice “Well, dear Adaine, is it possible it could have been you?” 

She gasps. “That’s right, it was me! Now, Riz, I’m certain you don’t know anyone else quite as intelligent as me and my lovely sister here--”

“That’s right--” 

“So maybe you should take our fucking advice?” Adaine finishes, glaring at him while Aelwen collapses into giggles. At the very least, their coordination is downright impressive, but when two very scary elf women tell you to do something, you do it--it’s not really an option. 

He puts his hands up in defeat. “Fine. Fine.” 

“Excellent,” Aelwen says cheerfully, “now get the hell out of our house.” 

Despite his terror at what will happen to him if he doesn’t do what the Abernant sisters have asked of him, Riz manages to put off telling Fabian until the night of Aelwen’s party itself, and it’s only when he’s at Fabian’s house beforehand helping him get ready that he remembers. 

“Fuck,” Riz mutters to himself, and Fabian looks at him confusedly.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, “Does my outfit look bad?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “‘Course not, Fabs, you look wonderful.” 

“You as well, my darling fake-boyfriend,” Fabian says, and all of the alarm bells go off in Riz’s head at once.

This is it, this is the day I die, he thinks, and all of a sudden his mouth is moving and he’s saying words and goddamnit, he’s gonna regret this for the rest of his life but he’s already talking and-- “Fabian, why did you ask me to pretend to date you?” 

He knits his eyebrows together, confused. “I thought I already said; it’s so Aelwen--” 

“Aelwen isn’t interested,” Riz interrupts, “and if you don’t know that, you’re either really oblivious or you’re really desperate, and both of those are a bad look on you, Fabian.” 

“Fuck off,” Fabian snaps bitterly. “Why would you know, anyway, you’ve never dated anyone!” 

He sputters, offended, and jumps up from where he’s sitting on the bed. “Not by my own choice, Fabian! I’m gay and I’m a goblin, it’s not like people are lining up around the block to date me--” 

“You could have any guy at our goddamn school, you’re one of the Bad Kids, we’re practically legends--” 

“And you could have any girl, but you’re still fucking fixated on Aelwen!” Riz says, his voice rising as the two of them face each other. “It’s been two and a half years, Fabian! Either admit there’s something else going on or move on!”

They go silent for a while, Riz’s arms crossed across his chest as he glares up at Fabian and the taller boy stares right back. Neither one moves for what feels to Riz like hours, but it’s Fabian who breaks the gaze first and sits down on his bed.

“You have no idea what else is going on,” he spits out, not making eye contact and instead choosing to play with a loose thread on his blanket. 

Riz huffs, furious. “Try me.” 

Fabian still doesn’t look up, but he pulls at the thread harder. “I’m not going to tell you.” 

“Fucking unfortunate, ‘cause I’m your date to the party and I’m not going anywhere.” He sits down cross-legged on the floor and looks up at Fabian expectantly. 

It’s a while before he finally speaks up, and when he does it’s quiet and pained. “I’m over Aelwen.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he confirms. “I have been.” Riz nods but doesn’t say anything, and Fabian goes back to picking at the blanket. “I have been for a really long time.”

“Then why--” 

Fabian rolls his eyes and flops back onto his bed. “I know it’s your thing, but this is really hard for me to say without you asking a bunch of questions.” 

He shrinks in on himself and says, “Sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine,” he mumbles from the bed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’ve been yelled at by so many people these past few days, it’s been awful. I shouldn’t take it out on you.” Fabian sits back up and runs a hand through his hair compulsively, biting his lip. “I think--well, it’s less that I think and more that I was told--I like someone else. Instead of Aelwen. And it makes me feel really shitty.” 

Riz’s heart sinks because of course, he likes someone else, some other pretty girl at Aguefort, someone who can carry on the Seacaster line in the right way, not a boy, not Riz, but his thoughts are steamrolling Fabian who’s talking again and he’s saying “I have to be honest, Riz, I’ve gotten too many lectures this week to not be--no, that’s not even it, I feel so awful about all this lying--I like a guy, and I was so mad at myself because I shouldn’t. I kept telling myself I shouldn’t but I did, and it made me feel so ashamed that I broke down crying one night,” he says bitterly. 

He can’t even hide the smile that overtakes his face when Fabian says that he likes a guy and the rest of the sentence hits like a freight train. “Why were you ashamed?” Riz asks, his voice slipping into a defensive tone. 

“Because I thought my father would be disappointed in me,” Fabian admits, “and because I knew he didn’t like me back.” 

“And what happened?” 

“Cathilda caught me crying in my room one night and she wouldn’t leave until I told her why.” He laughs and wipes his eye. Riz hadn’t even realized he was crying. “She made me cookies and told me not to be ashamed of myself, and that if my father somehow had a problem with it, she’d go to Hell and kick his ass herself.” 

Riz clambers up onto the bed and hugs his best friend tightly, feeling Fabian relax into the hug. “If it means anything, I would be right behind her.” 

“It means so much more than you know.” 

A beat. They hug, and Fabian buries his head in the crook of Riz’s neck and sighs contentedly. 

Another. It’s quiet and comfortable, and something has shifted in the room, something has clicked into place, and all of a sudden--

“I’m in love with you,” Riz finds himself saying. Fabian pulls back and looks at him in pure disbelief. “I know I shouldn’t, I know you have a crush on--on some other guy, but I just… I couldn’t keep hiding shit like this from you. You deserve to know.” His words echo Adaine’s, but his tone is sad and it hangs over the two boys like a thick fog. 

He starts to laugh, of all things, and Riz prepares himself to just get out and never speak to him again, but then they’re hugging tightly again and Fabian murmurs against Riz’s neck, “You fucking moron, I have a crush on you.” 

“Come again?”

“It’s you,” Fabian repeats, and Riz starts laughing now too. “It’s been you this whole time, but I never thought--I never knew--” 

He brushes Fabian’s hair back and smiles and there are ten thousand words not spoken, ten thousand things not said but he smiles right back and he understands, he knows, and they can just sit there and stare into each other’s eyes like dorks and not say a word. 

“There are easier ways to try and get around your feelings than pretending to date me for practice, Fabs,” Riz says softly. 

He flushes. “Well, I honestly thought that was a relatively okay idea at the time. I swear, Riz, if I had even an inkling of an idea that you felt the same way, we would have been doing this for real a long time ago.” 

“Hm, yeah, whatever, live in the present,” Riz mumbles as he plays with the hem of Fabian’s dress shirt. “We still going to that party?” 

“Oh, I’m sure they can wait a little bit,” Fabian replies, and it doesn’t take a detective to know that they’re thinking the same thing, but it does take a detective--specifically, a seventeen-year-old goblin one--to undo every single button on that damned dress shirt. 

They’re only about 30 minutes late because they don’t get past making out before Adaine starts calling Riz every ten seconds to ask where he is, and apparently, she’s also realized that Fabian is also not there and has recruited Aelwen into calling him to try and figure out what’s going on, and all in all, it’s hard to get much of anything done when their crystals are ringing incessantly. 

Fabian and Riz show up to the party hand in hand and Adaine whoops and collects ten gold pieces from everyone else in the Bad Kids. “Never bet against an oracle, you idiots!” she crows, and Riz spends the rest of the party at Fabian’s side, never wanting to lose him again.

(He won’t.)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> the abernant sisters: probably smarter than you
> 
> follow me on tumblr [@mydicegotcursed] and twitter [@itberemi] and scream with me about fabriz and figayda!!!!


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